My Journey Through Cancer

On November 5th, 2004, I was diagnosed with stage IIA Hodgkin's Disease Lymphoma. It all started earlier in the year when I noticed that I was constantly itching all over my body. I assumed that it was just extremely dry skin or a reaction to something, so I didn't give it much thought from there. Around the same time, I noticed that several of the lymph nodes in my neck were slightly inflamed. I know that lymph nodes often swell up for many reasons, so I didn't do anything to address it in the beginning. A few months later, when the lymph nodes were still inflamed, I asked a doctor at school about the nodes but he simply said that it was nothing to worry about. Since I trusted his knowledge, and I was incredibly busy finishing up my last semester of school, I left it at that. After graduation I started working as an MA at a doctors office in Chico, CA. In October of 2004 I noticed that I had a few more swollen lymph nodes in my neck than before, and the itchiness, which had subsided through summer, was back. Now, when I say itchiness, I don't mean a little scratching here and there. I itched 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I would scratch so hard in attempt to achieve momentary alleviation, that I had bruises up and down my legs. I would wake up constantly throughout the night because the itching was so bad. It drove me, and everyone around me, crazy.

I decided to do a little research on my own and I began looking up different lymph node disorders and so forth. I came across lymphoma, cancer of the lymph nodes, and as I was reading through I came across "symptoms" and the third symptom listed was "unexplained itchiness". The moment I read those words, I knew that I had cancer. For some reason I wasn't that shocked. My heart was now down at my feet, but I just kept on reading. So, the next day, I decided it was time to approach my doctor about it (who conveniently enough is also my boss). I told my boss what was going on, and he checked me out and asked a few questions. Like everyone else, he thought it probably wasn't something as extreme as lymphoma, but he agreed that it was worth looking into to eliminate the possibility. We started off with a blood test, but that was inconclusive, so my doctor decided he wanted to do a fine needle biopsy of one of the lymph nodes to give us a more concrete answer. The next day we got the call from the pathologist who examined the biopsy. I stood there watching as my doctor spoke to the pathologist on the phone, he didn't say much, but as soon as he hung up the phone he looked at me and simply said "can you go down to the lab really quick and get a chest x-ray?" We have a lab in our office, so I walked down, got my X-ray and walked it back to him. He took me into one of the exam rooms, put the X-ray up on the wall and said "well, the pathologist says it looks like Hodgkin's lymphoma." My heart sunk even further than before, but as weird as it sounds, a part of me felt a sort of satisfaction that I was right in my diagnosis. That's the doctor in me :)

So, this is basically my story from there....the abbreviated and edited version. I am always updating so keep your eyes open! If you have any questions, feel free to email me at annabanana_8@yahoo.com

Here are the updates that I sent out to my family and friends as I went through chemo, radiation, and remission-

November 1, 2004

Hi everyone!
I just wanted to update you all on what is going on.
I had my CT scans today and it looks like the cancer is only in my neck/chest area. This is good news because it means that I am still in the early stages.
I'll go in to the surgeon on Wednesday to have one of my lymph nodes removed, and we will be able to tell a little bit more when they look at that. Next week it is off to the cancer specialist, and from there we will start working on a treatment plan. Thanks so much for all of your support! I love you all, and I will keep you updated as we learn more!
On a lighter note, here is a picture of little baby Gabriel and me on Halloween. 5 weeks old, isn't he adorable? Thanks for having us, Leah!
love Sarah

November 3, 2004

Hi everyone!
well, today I had the appointment with the surgeon, but he didn't do any chopping. He just talked to me about everything and what's going to happen. On friday morning I"ll go in for surgery, and he will remove my largest lymph node that is in my axilla (armpit). They wont put me out completely, they'll just sedate me, so maybe Ill even get to watch a little bit! So, the next step is waiting for the biopsy to be analyzed , to know exactly what we are dealing with, and then on next thursday (a week from tomorrow) I will go to the oncologist and we will start working on a treatment.
So, it's back to the waiting game for me. I will keep you all posted as i learn things. Thanks for all your support, I love hearing from all of you. It means so much to me!
Talk to you soon!
love, Sarah

November 5, 2004

Hi everybody!
Its a little late, and I'm a little drugged still, so just ignore me if I don't make a lot of sense :) Well, i had surgery this morning and it went pretty well as far as i can tell. they told me that they were just going to do a local anesthetic and that i would be awake throughout the whole thing, but apparently they didn't know that drugs work really really well on me, and i was out like a light bulb before they even got me on the table. So i woke up what seemed like about 2 seconds later, with a big bandage under my arm and feeling pretty happy! So i just slept most of the day, and watched the movie Super size Me (wow!) And slept some more. I'm feeling pretty sore now, and I cant lift my right arm for a few days, but other than that, I'm doing good! So now i wait until next week to find out what's in store for me as far as treatment.
Thanks again everyone for calling and writing, I love hearing from you. if i miss your call and don't call you back immediately, sorry...Im probably asleep, or trying to figure out how to put my hair in a ponytail with one hand...hmmm
Well, I will write more later. for now, it is off to bed. talk to you soon!
love, Sarah

November 11, 2004

Pack your bags!....I'm going to Stanford!
Okay, today was the big appointment with the oncologist, and after talking to me and examining me and looking at all of my tests he decided that I am a perfect candidate for a trial that they are doing right now at Stanford, headed by one of the top oncologist in the country, who happens to be the leading person in Hodgkin's lymphoma (not too shabby).
So what this trial is, is basically a condensed and altered version of the normal treatment for Hodgkin's which is 8 months of chemotherapy followed usually by some radiation. So, what I will be doing (it is called the "Stanford 5" study) is 8 weeks of intense chemotherapy (I will have to go down to stanford one day a week for treatment), and then 2 weeks of radiation, where I will stay down at stanford for the whole 2 weeks and do radiation every day.
And that is it. So far, they have 95% success rate with this treatment, which is amazingly good for any cancer.
So, the next 3 or 4 months are definitely going to be a little strenuous to say the least, but it will go by fast, and Ill get through it. Especially with all the support I've been getting from all of you :)

SO, overall, it was a very good appointment, and i know that I'm going to be in very good hands, which is extremely reassuring. I'm sure I've left out lots of details, because I'm still a little scatter brained from all the information that has just been thrown at me, so feel free to call me if you have any questions or anything, I'm sure a lot of you do. I'll have my phone on!
I hope everyone is having a great day...Im gonna go eat some pizza :) Love you all, Sarah

November 26, 2004

Happy Belated Turkey Day!
well, I know I've been slacking off and I Haven't updated in a while, sorry about that ...things have been awfully busy around here!
First of all, I have to say a HUGE thanks to all my brothers for coming up to see me a few weeks ago.
That really meant a lot to me. IT was awesome seeing all you guys, and getting to goof off with you again.
:)
Now, on to business....Like i said, things have been busy around here. On Monday I had my first appointment down at Stanford. It was pretty overwhelming, and very informative. It's kind of intimidating when you meet with 4 doctors at once!
To sum up the appointment, they said that they want me in their trial, and I can start chemo as soon as I get a PET scan. Soooo, today i went all the way back down to Stanford for my pet scan. It was a loong day, if anyone has ever had a pet scan before. I felt like I should being glowing a radioactive shade of green when i got done. But now that i have that checked off the list, I am all set for chemotherapy, so I will start my first round of treatment this coming Monday at noon! I'm slightly apprehensive about what is to come in the next few months, but also anxious and a little excited to know that the sooner I start, the sooner it will be over. They said that I should start losing my hair after about a week, so Ill be bald by Christmas, hey, Demi Moore was still hot when her head was shaved, right? :) thanks Dallen.
Anyway, so if all goes as planned, I will start chemo Monday, and will go every Monday until February. Then I will take a 2 week break, while by blood counts go back up and I regain some strength. Then, i will go back for radiation, Monday-Friday for 3 weeks.
SO, by March, I hope to be as new. Just short a few hairs :)

SO, that is the news for now. Thanks so much for everyone's support. You have all made this so much easier on me. I love you all, and I hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Love, Sarah

December 1, 2004

Well, I survived my first round of chemotherapy. We went down to Stanford on Monday morning, arriving there at about 11AM. I went in and had my labs drawn (a standard procedure for every week). Then we waited about a half hour ,and finally went in and saw my nurse, Sheila. Sheila is wonderful, she has been talking me through this whole process and setting everything up for me. She lets me know what to expect and she even calls me at home, just to see how I'm doing. I think she deserves a sticker :) So, after visiting with her and getting my 20 or so prescriptions, we waited for about an hour to see my doctor. Her name is Doctor Avani, she's extremely nice too, so she checked me out to make sure nothing had changed, and gave me the big O.K. to go upstairs and start my chemo....woohoo!
So, we took a short stroll upstairs, sat down and waited. and waited. and waited. for about 2 hours ( I guess they were pretty backed up because it was the first day after thanksgiving holiday so everyone needed their chemo.) So, then they finally took me in and gave me my anti-nausea drugs (so I wouldn't puke all over) and then they stuck an IV needle into my forehand (this wasn't Johnny's favorite part...but he was a trooper, and quietly turned his face to the wall and pretended to be doing something else :) Once they had the IV in me, we just sat there for about an hour watching TV on our own private TV and hanging out. it actually was kinda nice.
so, we got done, picked up my plethora of prescriptions and were on our way home. All in all, not a completely horrible day. As for the aftermath...I now feel like I have the flu of all flu's. My mouth aches horribly for some reason, my head spins nonstop, and I've got way too many medications to keep straight.
BUT, on the upside, I am feeling better today than yesterday, and hopefully by the end of the week I will feel fine again. Just in time for another round :)

In all honesty, I am doing good. In a way, I feel like the worse my body feels, the more I know the chemo is working and killing this sucker inside me, so bring it on!
I've got lots of support here, and lots of movies, thanks to DAD! So, I'm in good hands. Thanks to everyone for thinking of me...You are all so great to me, and I love you all! I will keep you all updated as things come up! Happy December!

Lots of love,
Sarah

December 9, 2004

Well, one more week down ...I'm 1/4 done with chemo...yipee!
Last week was a little rough, the drugs made me much sicker than the doctors expected, but with the help of my bed, blockbuster, and back rubs, i got through it!
This week's drugs were much less harsh, so even though I'm not feeling great, I'm about 200% better, which I am more than happy with. Next week I have some more intense drugs again, and I have to stay over night for another dose on Tuesday, so it will probably be another down week. But, Christmas week is another light week, so I should be feeling pretty good for Christmas (and Donut Day!) so, I'm not complaining!
I've been trying to keep eating as much as I can so I don't lose too much weight, but I don't think that will be a problem with Donut Day!
Let's see, what else...my hair hasn't started falling out yet, but it could any time, so it's kind of a waiting game at this point....mmmm, maybe we should make it interesting ...anyone want to put down a bet on a day??? They said it should start falling out anywhere from 10 days to 1 month after I started (which was Nov. 29th.) I'll put my money on Dec 16th :)....any wagers???

We have our Christmas tree up and decorated, which we went and cut down up in the snow, and John put lights up on the house, so everything is very christmasy right now, which I love! Dallen is coming home on Sunday, yay! so, John and I will have another playmate to keep us company.
John has been awesome throughout this whole thing.
Don't worry, I'm not going to get mushy. But he has been by my side through all my long boring doctors appointments, covering his eyes through all the blood draws and IV injections, and still managing to make me laugh and smile when all I want to do is bury my head in a hole. He is definitely making this whole process so much easier. I think he deserves an award! :) Everyone's support so far has been so unbelievably fantastic. I can't tell you how nice it is to get all your emails and cards and calls...they make my day, everyday. Please, don't hate me if it takes me a day or 2 or 10 to get back to you :) I'm a little slow these days, but it doesn't mean I don't care!

Well, this email is starting to get pretty long, so I'll wrap it up. If there is anyone who wants to get on my list who isn't, just email me and I'll add you!
If there's anyone who wants to get off of my email list...too bad, you're stuck with me...hehe!

I'll end the email with something Aunt Genae sent me yesterday that I thought was pretty funny, so here it is...
I love you tons!
Sarah

THE TOP TEN PERKS TO CHEMO:
1) No bad hair days for awhile.
2) Saves a bundle on shampoo/expensive styling products.
3) You can pretend you're a blonde without having to color.
4) No plucking necessary.
5) No time to shave?... No problemo!
6) Vomiting is easier in case you've ever wanted to be bulimic
7) No paranoia about health issues - You KNOW what's going on.
8) Traveling to/from treatment keeps you up to date on current road conditions and car trends.
9) No need for excuses why you're not showing up to work.
10) Corny emails start coming from deadbeat aunts.
BONUS: 11) It's a good opportunity to complain.

December 30, 2004

I know, it's been a while since I've updated...I'm sorry! Between the holidays and chemo, most of my spare time has been spent wrapping and sleeping.
However, now that things are slowing down a little bit, hopefully I'll be back on track, so you guys will be hearing from me more often...like it or not :)

Okay, now to back track...last time I updated my blood count was waaaay low and I was pretty bummed. Thanks to lots of rest and some nice new drugs, my blood counts are doing great now and hopefully they will stay that way. I finally did lose my hair...Dec. 19 was the winning day. It's not quite as bad as I thought it was going to be, luckily I don't have any huge bumps or dips up there ...turns out I have a pretty nice shaped head. Thanks mom and dad. Luckily my eyelashes and eyebrows are still in tact, so my head isn't completely naked.
Since my counts were back up, I was able to get my chemo again on the 20th and 21st...it was the double dose day, so I was pretty sick last week. The fact that it was Christmas week and all my family was here definitely made it much easier to get through. This week's dose was more mild, so I've been doing okay.
Unfortunately, the mouth soreness is coming back though, and my bones have been aching quite a bit, so I'm never really sure what to expect now ...I guess anything is possible.
On monday I will be going in for my second PET scan.
I had one before I started treatment, so this one will show how well the chemo has worked, and how much of the cancer is gone. I'm a little nervous about the results, but I probably won't find out exactly what the results are until I go back down a week from Monday.
Well, I think you're pretty much up to date now.
Thank you everyone for all the cards and emails ...I always love hearing from you! And a big thank you to all my brothers and dad and Ruth for making the trip for Christmas! I love you guys!
I hope all of you had a great holiday, and I'll talk to you soon.
Love you,
Sarah

Here is a picture of my dad's haircut that he got in honor of me!

January 4, 2005

Hi Everyone!

This is going to be a short update because I'm not feeling super great tonight, but I have some good news to share with all of you...
Yesterday was a looong day. John and I left Chico at 3:30AM to make it down to Stanford in time for my PET scan, bright and early. So, I had my PET scan (which is about two hours) then went in for my doctors appointment and labs, then finished the day off with a few hours of chemo. So, all in all, we were at Stanford for a little over 10 hours...sheesh.
Now, for the good news...this morning my wonderful nurse called me to let me know that my PET scan came out normal! This means that my scan showed no signs of cancer! Now, this doesn't mean that the cancer is 100% gone, but it does mean that it gone enough that they can no longer detect it. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, as of now, i have 3 more chemo treatments to go, and then 3 weeks of radiation, and then I will be DONE!
Of course, there is still a long way to go before I am completely out of the clear, but this was very good news, so I was anxious to share is with all of you.
I'll keep you updated! Hope you are all having a great night!
Lots of love,
Sarah

January 17, 2005

Well, it's the night before chemo #7 (or technically the morning of). Six down, two to go! woohoo! I thought it was about time I sent out another update to let everyone know how I've been doing. The first week of January was rough on me, but I got through it alright, and this last week has been much better (relatively speaking). My white blood count was down again this last week, which was a bummer. But, Friday I went into work and tested my blood (sometimes it's handy to work in a medical office), and my counts are back up, so chemo is definitely on. woohoo again.
I've been taking lots and lots and lots of naps, and really doing absolutely nothing productive, but that's okay, I have a good excuse.

This weeks chemo is the double dose of the strong stuff, so we will be going down to Stanford in the morning ,and then staying the night with Aunt Paula in her new Scotts Valley home. Then its back to Stanford on Tuesday morning for more punishment. Fortunately, this week will be the last week of the hard treatments, so knowing that this is the last week I'll be feeling super crummy is a pretty good feeling!
It's also a good week because tomorrow (or today) is Johnny's birthday! YAY! So, lucky Johnny gets to spend his birthday at Stanford taking care of me.
What a sweetie! I guess because he's so good to me I wont tell you how ooold he is :)

Because I was feeling better this week, we took the doggies on a little day trip up to the snow, so I will leave you with a few pictures from that. Also, I realize that many of you have not seen me since I changed hairstyles, so ...brace yourselves, bald head coming your way! (It's a picture from Christmas
morning)
I hope everyone had a great weekend. I love you all!
Sarah

January 22, 2005

Hello!
It's late and I can't sleep so I decided it was a good time for an update! I've made it through most of week
#7 so far. It hasn't been a very pleasant feeling week, but only one more to go!! It's a good thing too, because my veins are starting to get very sick and tired of being poked nonstop. They had some trouble with my IVs on Monday. The chemo nurse told me that I had the craziest veins he's ever seen...he's been a nurse there for 14 years! I took that as a compliment :) He had to give me several IV's because my veins didn't want to cooperate, so by the time I got out of there I felt like a pin cushion. I looked like one too!
Unfortunately, this week's trip is going to be even crazier than last week. My first appointment of the day on Monday will be for a full body CT scan to begin the process of setting up my radiation. After that I have an appointment with Dr. Hoppe, my radiation oncologist. Once that is through, I go get my labs done, followed by a chest x-ray, and then it is off to see my regular oncologist, Dr. Advani. After all that is said and done, I'll go upstairs for my last and final (cross your fingers) chemo treatment. So, it will be a long day, but it will sure feel good when it's over!
It is very cold here in Chico right now. Sadly, it hasn't snowed here this year like I hoped for, but at least the cold weather gives me a good excuse to wear all my cool new hats!
Speaking of my shiny bald head, Jacob suggested that we should all put in guesses of when you think my hair will start growing back, since very few of you participated in the "when is Sarah's hair going to fall out?" game. (I was very disappointed in you, by the way) :) They said it should start growing back about a month after I stop chemo, so my guess is for March 1st.
What's your guess?

well, I guess I'll leave it at that for tonight. Time for bed!

Goodnight!
love, Sarah

January 29, 2005

Hello again!
It is official, I am done with chemotherapy. Woohoo!
If I never heard the word chemo again, it would be okay with me! I thought that this last week was going to be pretty easy, but it actually ended up being a little harder than expected - go figure. I was pretty sick earlier this week, and now my tongue is really sore so I kind of talk funny at the moment. I think I'm forming a lisp :) Last Monday went pretty well, even though it was a looong day. I had my first appointment down at radiation, which was interesting. First they made a mold of my neck and formed it into a brace that will go under my neck while I'm laying in the machine for radiation. They also made a face mask formed to my face, which they'll bolt down to the table when I'm laying there. They do this to ensure that I will be in the exact same place and position every time they do radiation, so that the lasers go to the right spots. Oh yeah, sorry mom, but I got a few tattoos this week too! Ha, well, kind of. They gave me three little tattoos on each side of my chest and one right between the ribs. The tattoos will line up to the lasers to make sure my chest is in the same position each time. After that they did the preliminary CT scan that they'll use to map out where my radiation will be concentrated.
After I got done with all that fun stuff, I went back up for my normal Dr's appointment. We went through all the normal last chemo procedures, and then Sheila (my nurse) gave both me and John each a farewell hug.
Of course I will see her again, but hopefully not for a few months. My first check up appointment will be 2 months from when I finish radiation. And if everything checks out okay, then i will go back 3 months after that, 4 months after that, and then every
6 months for 3 years. The next two years will be the most critical, because if the cancer comes back, it will most likely be in that time period.
It's pretty scary. I read somewhere that remission is sometimes harder than chemotherapy, and I'm starting to really understand what that meant. When your in chemo, it's hard, but at least you know you're fighting it and killing the cancer. But, in remission, all you can do is wait to see if it is going to come back or not. It's really frustrating, and makes you feel pretty helpless at times. But I know we'll get through it :)

So, I go back down to Stanford, yet again, on Monday to have my labs done, and for my first day of radiation. The first day, they just do a "run-through" to make sure that everything is lined up and ready to go. So, hopefully I will start with the actual radiation on Tuesday, but if my blood counts are still a little low, they will hold off until next Monday. So, I'll go down with my bags packed just in case.
In celebration of the end of chemo, I'm attaching a picture of all of the drugs that I will no longer be taking on a daily basis after this week. Yes, these are all the drugs I've been on for the last 2+ months, not including the chemo itself and the shots that I give myself. Maybe I should sell the leftovers on the black market to pay for some of my medical expenses :) Just kidding.

I hope everyone is having a great Saturday night!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Leah on Monday!!!!!!

Lots of love,
Sarah

February 8, 2005

Hey everybody!
I think it's about time for another update, I'm running a little behind...as usual.
Well, last monday we took off for Stanford at 6:30 am as usual, and after about 3 hours on the road I got a call from the radiation nurse saying that they weren't ready for me that day and they needed to reschedule....hmmm Well, I still needed to get my blood drawn, and I found out that they still needed to have me get a PET scan before I could start radiation, so we drove down there anyway and got everything taken care of. I got my PET scan scheduled for 8am Tuesday, and also got my rescheduled appointment for my radiation run through, so we headed south some more and spent the night at Paula's house in Scotts Valley.
So, my actual radiation started on Wednesday, which means I will hopefully have my last treatment on Friday the 18th. My schedule right now is staying with Paula monday through friday, and going to stanford every day, then going home for the weekend and catching up on things at home. I found out yesterday that my white blood count and my neutrophils are very low again, which is pretty frustrating, but hopefully they'll go back up soon!
Other than that, there's not much new. I've got lots of pretty drawings on my chest and neck ...I think maybe I'll start a new trend!

well, I think that's about it for now. I'm sure there's much more to say, but my brain is tired, so I'll stop here. I'll try to write again sooner than later.

Lots of love!
Sarah

February 16, 2005

Hi-Dee-Ho!
I have TWO days left of treatment. TWO!!! It still hasn't really sunk in that I'm almost done. Everyone keeps asking what I am going to do to celebrate that it's over, and my response is....ummm...ummm...I don't know? Let's see, what do people normally do to celebrate mildstones in life....get a completely new
hairdo- already did that!...take a trip- I've taken waay too many trips in the past few month!...get some
tattoos- already did that! So, I'm not quite sure what to do, any suggestions? I'm sure at some point once it sinks in that I am actually done, I'll start dancing and singing uncontrollably until my fatigue sets in and I pass out (I hope no one is present to witness this!) And I'm sure there will probably be a few tears as I walk out of the building on Friday...but they will be good tears.

As for the past few weeks...I really feel like I have no place to complain. Radiation is like a pint of cookie cough ice cream compared to chemotherapy. I walk in to the waiting room, change into a robe (in the waiting room bathroom, not in the actual waiting room...but that would be pretty funny) I sit down, and usually wait about 30 seconds before they come out to get me. I go into the radiation room, and it takes about 2 minutes for them to align me just right on the machine, about 1 minute of radiation, and then they hand me a parking pass and I am on my way. Smooth like butter! Once a week Dr. Hoppe meets with me afterwards to see how I am doing and check for any side effects. The only side effect that I have had is a pretty bad sore throat. Unfortunately for me, the only prescription....lots of ice cream :) Oh well...Dr's orders!

We are still staying here in Scott's Valley with John's aunt Paula, who has been way too good to us!
John's dad has also been here with us the whole time, and grandma Lela is here right now too. John's sister Leah and her husband Alex were here for the past week with their unbelievably adorable baby Gabriel.
(pictures below!)
So, needless to say, I haven't been bored one bit.
Thanks for coming Leah and Alex! We wish you could have stayed longer!

I'm not sure yet exactly when I will return to work.
I would like to as soon as possible, but I really need to get my blood counts back up to normal first. It would also help if I have a little energy before I go back too. As of right now, I would probably pass out after about 2 hours of my normal work. None the less, I can't wait to get back!

That's about it for now. Ill try to update again this weekend and let you know how I decided to celebrate.
OH yeah, Dallen is coming to visit this weekend...YAY, and it is also Jack's birthday...double YAY, so at least we know there will be cake involved :)

And lastly...to update on my hair growth, or lack there of- there is no sign of complete hair regrowth yet, but we are carefully monitoring it and I will report as soon as there is something to report!
Grow, hair, Grow!!

Until next time!
Tons of love,
Sarah Ann

February 22, 2005

WOOOOOOHOOOOOO!
I'm all done! Yay. Go me! :)
I finished treatment on Friday, as planned, and we got back up to Chico late Friday afternoon. I wish I would have taken picures of my radiation technicians so you all could see their faces, they were three of the nicest people ever. All three of them are around my age too, or slightly older. Maybe Ill get their pictures when I go back for my first check up visit in a month. Anyway, my three wonderful techs congratulated me, wished me luck, and handed me a parting gift to remember them by. (go to attached photos now) Yes, it is my mask from radiation. It is a little scary, but you can actually tell that it is my face just by looking at it. (except for the very pointy nose...they made it like that so I could breathe better while the mask was on) John says that I just happened to be telling a big fat lie while they were making it.
As uncomfortable as it looks, it is even more uncomfortable to wear! If you look at the three big holes on the side, those are what they used to bolt me down to the table. The black crossing lines are how they lined my face up to the lasers. I also had those lines all over my neck and chest for the whole 3 weeks of radiation...it was pretty :) So, thats my little momento from radiation. Let me know if anyone wants to use it for halloween.
Since then, I have been trying to catch up on stuff here at home. We got to hang out with dallen and molly, and jaron and larissa, and of course mom and jack on jack's birthday, so that was really nice.
Thanks for coming up guys :)
Other than that, I've just been paying bills, playing with the dogs, and taking it nice and easy. I got to go in the hot tub again the other night for the first time in 4 months!! Ahhhh...it felt goooood! Needless to say, I've since been in more than a few times.
Also, I finally got around to updating my little website that I made a few years ago. There still isn't much to it yet, but Ive got a little bit on there now, and there is a page just for all of my email updates and other Hodgkin's info. So, take a look if you want. I'll try to keep updating it as I go. The address is www.section525.com/annabanana

Thanks again to everyone for all of your letters and cards and support. It really means more to me than you know! I mean it! And, of course, I have to say a special thanks to my John for completely giving up the last 3 weeks of his life to stay with me in the bay area and drive me to stanford EVERY SINGLE DAY. I know, he has to be pretty sick of me by now, but he doesn't show it. Baby, you are the best!

I guess I'll leave it at that for tonight. Happy belated President's Day! :)

Love you lots,
Sarah

February 28, 2005

It's official!.....I have hair! Granted, not too much of it, but it is there! It's a little too early to tell what color it is, or if it will be curly or straight, but I think it will still be brown...possibly a lighter brown. It is about 1/8 of an inch long at the moment. GROW HAIR, GROW!!!
And of course, what all of you are waiting for- The winner is.....Dom Duran, with the guess of February 23rd. Congratulations, Dom! Your lollipop is on the way!
I'm headed up to dad's house this next weekend for a few more days of healing and rest before I take the plunge and go back to work. I'm going to start working half days and see how it goes from there...Since I still get light headed every time I stand up, it could make for some interesting work days, but at least Ill be in the right place if anything happens! I am definitely getting more strength back every single day, which is exciting. I am certainly not as athletic as I once was though unfortunately, as I found out today trying to chase after Kuma for about 100 yards, but I will get there.
Right now I think my muscle mass is at about 35% of normal. I should have stashed some of those steroids while I had a chance :) Just kidding...don't do drugs kids!
That's all for now I guess, I hope everyone had a great weekend, and for those of you in Utah, I wish I could have been with you these last few days!
I Better get off to bed. Sleep tight!
Love,
Sarah

March 6, 2005

I know, you are all wondering....aren't these updates ever going to stop? Nope, sorry. At least not today.

So, I hitched a ride up to Washington State this week with my roommate and his buddy (an adventure in
itself) and they dropped me off at my dad's house, so I have been here at dad's since Thursday. It has been just what I needed to get that extra bit of rest and relaxation in before I go back to work next week. We went to the beach, and did some hiking...and then I talked them into getting a puppy :)hehehe Aunt Ann's English springer spaniel had another batch of puppies, and Dad and Ruth both swore that they were not going to get another puppy because they've had to say goodbye to their last two dogs and it was just too hard! BUT, as with all things, when you lose love, you can't swear it off for good, you have to get back on the horse and open your heart up again. SOOO, I just gave them a little nudge, or boost back up onto that horse.
Ann sent them a picture of two of the puppies on Saturday, we stared at the picture for about an hour, I spent about an hour convincing them that they needed this puppy, and about an hour after that we were on the road down to Salem, Oregon to pick up "Charlie".
I did feel a little guilty at first about persuading them into getting this puppy, hoping I had done the right thing. But, there is no question. There is a new member of the family and he is quickly climbing the ranks. I know as soon as I leave they are going to take all the pictures of us kids off the fridge and replace them with puppy pictures :) But I am very glad that I was able to facilitate in this adoption. He is an awesome puppy! So, of course I am attaching a few photos to show you all the new member of the family.
Other than that there is not a lot to Update. I have my first follow up appointment on the 21st down at Stanford, which will jsut be to check my blood counts and make sure there are no lingering side effects that they didn't foresee. Of course they will do an x-ray too to make sure nothing has started to grow back yet.
Im finally starting to get a little energy back and it feels very good! I'm not running again yet, but I will be!
Hope everyone is well!
Lots of love,
Sarah

The last picture is today at the beach...the puppy and I were taking a little nap.

April 13, 2005

Hi everyone!!
I know it has been a while, I guess that's a good thing, right? Well, I'm back at work now, full time
(gulp)! It's nice to finally be doing something productive again, and I like being back with my
patients and helping people but it definitely does make me tired! Sleep is one thing that I am learning
to never take for granted. It is my #1 hobby these days.

I had my first official post-treatment check up a few weeks ago, which went well. Mom drove me down and I
had my labs done and xrays taken, and then spent 2 hours waiting to see the doctor for a total of about 2
minutes. But she said that everything looks great still, so it was all worth it!
My hair is starting to grow back strong now! I dont know if any of you know the old comic "Rose is Rose"
but John says that I look like the baby girl in the comic. It's my little baby afro! It's funny because
I see the pictures that Leah sends us of Gabe, and I have the exact same hairdo as him! I have to admit
that he had it first though. Anyway, everyone has been asking for pictures of the new do, so I've
attached a few photos. I'm also going to be adding a few photos to the website so you can go there if you
want to see a few more. They'll probably be up sometime this weekend.
www.section525.com/annabanana
The first week or so that I was back to work I wore my wig, but I quickly realized that just as I am not a
"high heels" shoe girl, I am also not a wig girl. I guess you could say that to me the look just isn't
worth the sacrifice of comfort. So, I wore a hat for a week or so, and I have been going "baldy" ever
since. My hair is long enough now that instead of wondering what is wrong with me, patients are now
saying "I like your haircut..I wish i was brave enough to cut mine like that!" I just laugh and say thanks.
It is nice when the patients find out what I went through though, because when they ask where i went,
and i say that i had cancer, they suddenly start complaining a whole lot less about their colds or how
they need more drugs because they stubbed their toe. It definitely helps to put things into perspective for
our "complainer" patients.

So, here are a few pictures. The picture of me laughing and the picture of kuma, I am showing all of
you because everytime i look at the two pictures together I cant help but laugh. The picture of me is
from when john was taking my picture to submit for my passport renewal, and I couldnt stop laughing long
enough to take a good picture. And, the picture of Kuma is from when we took them to the snow back in
January, I dont know if she was sneezing or what, but i think it looks like she's laughing. anyway, i think
the similarities in our expressions are pretty funny..we should submit them to one of those owner/pet
look-alike contests.

That's all for now...I will let you know when i update the website. Hope everyone is doing great!
Love you all!
Sarah

June 20, 2005

Hello again!
I know you were all starting to miss me! I thought I would do a quick little update to let everyone know
whats new and how I've been doing these past few months.
I had my 4 month check up down at Stanford today! It was pretty quick and relatively painless. One of my
best friends, Michelle went down with me and I had my labs and x-rays done. I had a CT scan done here in
Chico a few weeks ago, so they went over that with me too. Basically everything is looking great. I am
still anemic and my white blood cell count is still low, but that's not really surprising...I just have to
keep eating my spinach! Just call me Popeye. Xrays looked good, and they complimented me on my stylish
doo......yes, that's right....i have hair...a whole head of it in fact! Overall, it was a very pleasant
trip, traffic aside.

As for the last few months...Ive been back at work for quite a while now, which is nice, but also exhausting
at times. For those of you who don't know, grandma Ross took my on a very nice Mediterranean cruise
several weeks ago! Aunt Ann's family and Elena were with us to, and we got to see some pretty amazing
things. Thank you so much, grandma! It was really great to finally get to spend some time with some of
my cousins too. Don't worry Utah family, I want to spend some time with you, too....I'm coming, sometime,
I really am! So, I'm going to attach a few photos from our trip so you can see where we were, and also so you can check
out how long my hair is! It was very nice to get away and just relax for a while...my body definitely needed
it! Not to mention the fooood! So, that's about all I have for now, I won't bore you
with all the little details. John and the doggies are all doing well. kuma, who
was recently shaved, has found a new past time of rolling in the fallen plums under our plum tree, and
now looks like an albino lion with pink poka-dots. Maya got jealous and sat on a plum, so now she just
has a pink rear end, not quite as humorous, but she feels very cool, so I guess that is all that matters.

Happy belated father's day to dad, jack, terry, grandpa, Alex, and all you other dads!

and Happy 4th of July pretty soon! Be safe, and have fun! Don't burn down too many pastures!

Lots of love,
Sarah

I'm baaack!
Well, it's been a very long time since I've written to you all, and I'm sure you are all in withdrawals by
now, so I thought it was about time to bring the update back to life. Plus, the holidays are coming,
and I am missing all of you! So, I must confess, I am partially using the "update" just to keep in touch
with all of you. Life has been good here. Lots of work, lots of play, and lots of sleep.
So, I do have some big news to announce. I got my very first haircut yesterday! I was a little scared
at first because i have this baby hair now, with little baby waves, and I was nervous that once I got
it cut the curls would be gone, but I was happy to awake this morning to my usual crazy head of hair with
little curls flying in every direction. So, I'll attach a picture of the new 'do, I know its been a
long time since I've posted any pictures. I also updated the pictures in the photo album on my website
a few months ago. A lot of the pictures are pretty random, but it's mostly pictures from our adventures
of this summer, so you can check it out if you're bored.

Well, two weeks ago was my one year anniversary of my official diagnosis. This last year has gone by fast,
but at the same time, it seems like it has been so long since everything started. It is amazing how much
can change in such a short amount of time. Every experience is an oppurtunity for learning and growth,
and the harder the experience, the larger the growth. This whole experience has taught me so much, and I
continue to learn from it every day; about myself, about others, and about what is truly important in
life. Now that the holidays are steadily approaching, I've been thinking a lot about last year and how much
it meant to me to have such a wonderful support system of family and friends, and it was so nice to have that
contact especially through the holiday season. I miss all of you so much, you really are on my mind so much
more than you could ever imagine. All of you!

So, last year I had my very first PET scan the day after Thanksgiving. This year, it just happens to be
that I am going to be having one two days before thanksgiving. I'm a little nervous, But I am also
very anxious to find out exactly how healthy I am. Of course, I will let you all know as soon as I find out
the results. To refresh your memory, the PET scan is the incredibly fun test, which entails abandoning all
sugars and carbohydrates for 24 hours prior, being injected with radioactive sugar, and then laying
completely still in a small tube for 45 minutes while my entire body is scanned. The cool thing about it is
that if there is any cancer that has returned to my body, the PET scan should be able to detect it. SO,
this is basically the true report card for how I am doing at this point. I was not scheduled to have this
test again until March, but I have been having some slightly suspicions symptoms lately, so we thought it
would be best to do it now and make sure that there is nothing going on. So, if everything comes out good,
it will be nice to have one less thing to worry about during thanksgiving and Christmas, and instead I can
just enjoy the season. I can't wait for Thanksgiving next week, and all the
yummy food! We'll be at mom's house this year, so you know there will be no shortage of good food! What are
everyone elses plans?

Well, I better stop writing now before I start making absolutely no sense. It has been a long week and I
think my brain is running out of power with each letter I type. I'll leave you with a picture that we
took right before halloween of Kuma and Gabriel. It is just one of those pictures that makes me laugh
every time I look at it. Enjoy! I love you all, keep in touch!!
love, Sarah

November 28, 2005
Hi Everybody,

I just wanted to let you all know that there's no news to report on the cancer front. As I said before, I was supposed to have my PET scan on Tuesday, but due to some separate circumstances, we had to cancel the appointment. As always, my body has succeeded in finding a new way to confuse and turture me. Mom, Dad, did I drink paint as a child or something? The last few weeks I've had a few extremely bad attacks of stomach pain, which at first I thought was a bad bug that I caught from one of my patients. When I started to get more symptoms I decided to investigate and discovered that I now have a gallbladder full of gallstones. Yay me! So, My doctors down at Stanford said no PET scan until I get this taken care of.
Soooo, on Wednesday I have a consult with the same surgeon that did my surgery last year, to talk about taking out my gall bladder. No biggie, just a little bump in the road. I'm just anxious to get it taken care of so I can go get my PET scan and make sure that everything on that front is still A-OK.

On a happier note, John and I went up to Mt. Lassen today with our good friends Luke and Michelle to cut down a Christmas tree! There wasn't much snow yet, but it was still tons of fun. We took lots of pictures, and John made a little music video of the days events. I posted them all on my website, so you can check it out if tickles your fancy!

Yay, Christmas time is here! Someone already asked me if we have a date for donut day yet :) The people must have their donuts!
Well, it's late and although I enjoyed the 4 day weekend veeeery much, it's back to work tomorrow, so I better hit the hay. I hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving, wish we could have seen you all! Keep in touch!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
Love, Sarah

December 1, 2006

Hi everybody, Im back!!!
It has been quite a while since I have done an update, but I decided that since the year is coming to an end,
what better time to bug all of my friends and family once again...so here I am!
It has been a very good year here...No major medical problems, no surgeries, no emergency room visits...I
think this may be a record for me! The big news on the cancer front is that I went down
to Stanford for my 2 year PET scan check up. Can you believe it has been 2 years already since this all
began?! crazy. Anyhow, I got a call from my favorite nurse Shiela yesterday and the scan was clean as a
whistle! No cancer in sight...YAY ME! They say that 2 years is really the hurdle point, so although there
is still a chance that the cancer could come back, that chance is significantly decreased after the 2
year mark. Yay again!

Everything on the home front is good also. John and the doggies are doing great. I can't wait for
Christmas to come so I can hang out with all the boys and the rest of the family!
We do have a little news to report that amazingly isn't health related :)
John and I are now engaged! I think he was planning on doing it around christmas time, but you know boys
and having to wait for things....he just couldnt do it. No complaints from me!! :)
I dont think Ive been able to stop smiling since it happened. My cheeks are starting to get a little
sore.
So, that's all the news from this end! I miss hearing from all of you! I miss you all, especially this time
of year, so please email me and let me know what is going on in your lives!! I always love getting
pictures too!!!! I hope you are all doing greater than great, and that you all had an amazing
Thanksgiving! Keep in touch!

Lots of love,
Sarah